Breaking Free from Labels

From "The Smart One" to "The Failure" and Beyond

Since childhood, I was labeled "the smart one." I liked that label—it made me feel special, valuable, and worthy of recognition. But it also trapped me. If I ever failed, I felt like I was losing my identity. Being "smart" wasn’t just something I did; it was who I was.

Then, years later, after a successful career in tech, I stepped away to take care of my daughter for five years. When it was time to return to work, I struggled to re-enter the industry. Suddenly, my label changed.

I was no longer "the smart one"—I was "the failure."

I saw myself through this lens, feeling like I had lost my place, fallen behind, and was no longer "good enough." The fear of being perceived as outdated or lacking current skills loomed large, a new, unspoken label I dreaded.

The Labels We Carry

We often define ourselves by our professions, as if they are permanent. But the truth is, our jobs, our roles, and even our passions can change.

Did you hear the story about the lawyer who received a plumber’s bill? Shocked, he said:

“Hey, you’re charging me two hundred dollars an hour. I don’t make that kind of money as a lawyer.”

The plumber replied,

“I didn’t make that kind of money when I was a lawyer either!”

It’s funny, but it speaks to something deeper. We hold on to identities like lawyer, engineer, or entrepreneur as if they define our value. But what happens when we change careers, take a break, or shift paths? Does that mean we lose who we are?

For years, I believed my intelligence and success were tied to my profession. When that changed, I felt like I had lost myself. But the truth is, I was never just my job. And neither are you.

If I changed my profession tomorrow, or if my skills evolved, would I stop being "me"? No. Yet, I had conditioned myself to believe otherwise, clinging to the labels I'd acquired.

At some point, I realized how many labels I had unconsciously carried throughout my life:

• When I believed I was smart, failure felt unbearable.

• When I believed I was successful, stepping away from work felt like losing everything.

• When I believed I was independent, asking for help made me feel weak.

Labels can feel like a source of pride, but they also become invisible cages. The more we identify with them, the more we live in fear—fear of losing that identity, fear of not living up to expectations, fear of being seen differently.

But what if I wasn’t any of these labels? What if I was something bigger?

The Day I Redefined Myself

One day, as I considered my next steps, a realization struck me:

I had been chasing something I no longer wanted.

I was trying to reclaim a label that no longer fit. I had spent so much energy proving I was still "worthy" when, deep down, I wanted something different.

So instead of stepping back into a predefined role, I stepped forward into enterpreneurship. I chose to redefine success on my own terms. My career gap wasn’t a weakness—it was a turning point. A chance to create, to reinvent, to step into a life beyond the limits of old labels.

That was the day I let go—not just of the "failure" label, but of the need to define my worth through external validation.

Letting Go of Labels

The next time you describe yourself, ask: Is this really who I am, or is it just a role I’ve attached myself to?

Notice how labels limit you. What happens if you let them go?

Instead of saying, "I am [label]," try saying, "Right now, I feel [emotion]."

I used to be "the smart one," then "the failure." But once I stopped defining myself through those labels, I realized something freeing:

I was never just one thing. I was simply me—complex, evolving, and limitless.

And that was enough. And now, I create a life that reflects that truth.

So, ask yourself: What labels are you ready to let go of?

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