No More Puppet Feelings! How I Stopped Freaking Out (And You Can Too!)

I used to be a puppet. If someone was rude, I felt offended, my internal drama meter hitting high. If things didn’t go my way, I got frustrated. If I was criticized, I spiraled into self-doubt. I saw the same script play out each time, and it always ended with unnecessary suffering, a stolen sense of calm, and a feeling of being out of control.

What if, instead, you could navigate these same situations with unshakeable inner peace, making clear-headed decisions and preserving your energy for what truly matters? Imagine responding to life's challenges with intention and grace, rather than being a victim of your own emotional storms.

Feeling increasingly troubled by how easily I was thrown off balance by external events and yearning for that very stability and freedom, I was searching for a different way to navigate life. That's when I came across this from De Mello:

“No event has the power to hurt you. It is your reaction to the event that does.”

I paused. It was a real lightbulb moment. What if my suffering wasn’t caused by what happened, but by how I reacted to it? What if my emotional responses weren't something I just had to endure, but something I could actually choose?

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The Trap of Emotional Reactivity

We think we have control over our lives. But truthfully, most of us are controlled—by our emotions, our past, our conditioning. Someone cuts us off in traffic, and we get angry. Suddenly, we're ready to deliver a lecture on proper driving etiquette through a closed window. Someone ignores us, and we feel unworthy, quickly inventing reasons why we might have deserved it.

But here’s the truth: Reactions are optional.

When you react, you are effectively 'asleep'—that is, acting automatically and without conscious awareness—letting external events dictate your inner world. You're on autopilot, letting circumstances steer your mood. But when you observe your reaction without acting on it, you regain freedom. You shift from being the reaction to being the one who notices the reaction.

The Practice of Non-Reaction

For the next 24 hours, try this:

• The moment you feel triggered, pause.

• Instead of reacting, simply observe: “Oh, anger is here.” or “ Shame is here”

• Do nothing. Let the feeling peak and fade on its own.

It will feel uncomfortable at first. Old habits can be surprisingly strong. You might feel a lot of internal pressure. But the more you practice, the more you realize—you are not your reactions. You are the awareness watching them.

And that is real power. The kind of quiet strength that helps you stay steady, even when life throws you a curveball or when you encounter those minor daily irritations that used to steal your peace.

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Learning to observe our reactions instead of being ruled by them is a powerful shift. What’s one common trigger you struggle with, or what’s a strategy you’ve found helpful in choosing your response instead of just reacting? I’d love to hear your insights in the comments!